Murdered By Love « Result #1 on Jul 21, 2009, 1:26am »
the information//? site name ;; Murdered By Love site opened ;; 7/16/09 leveling ;; intermediate - advanced genre ;; dark future species allowed ;; angels demons and humans canons ;; almost always spots open
why join//? The sites got it's own special twist to it, and I'm constantly adding on new plots for new canon places to be opened up. Instead of typical fantasy with vampires and lycans, Murdered By Love allows you to be either a human mortal, an angel, or a demon. New species will be allowed with the more members that are added! So JOIN!/!!
Hiding Smokers « Result #6 on Mar 25, 2009, 3:42am »
Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said,"It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so Mother Superior doesn't find them."
The second nun said, "I've found a marvelous invention called the condom, which really solves this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later!"
The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.
"You get them at the drug store, sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them." The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter. "Good morning, sister," said the pharmacist.
"What can I do for you today?"
"I'd like some condoms, please," said the nun. The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked,
"How many boxes would you like? There are twelve to a box."
"I'll take six boxes - that should last about a week," she replied.
The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, "Sister, what size condoms would you like - we have large, extra large, and big liar size."
The sister thought for a minute, and finally said, "I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel."
Enlarging The Breast « Result #7 on Mar 25, 2009, 3:42am »
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.
The husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.
“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.
The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”
The husband shrugs. “Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?”
Violin Lessons « Result #8 on Mar 25, 2009, 2:24am »
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.
"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.
"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.
"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."
"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.
He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.
The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.
She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.
"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.
She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.
Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.
When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."
Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.
"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"
A Christmas Fancy « Result #9 on Mar 25, 2009, 2:24am »
Early on Christmas Day, Love, as awake I lay, And heard the Christmas bells ring sweet and clearly, My heart stole through the gloom Into your silent room, And whispered to your heart, `I love you dearly.' There, in the dark profound, Your heart was sleeping sound, And dreaming some fair dream of summer weather. At my heart's word it woke, And, ere the morning broke, They sang a Christmas carol both together. Glory to God on high! Stars of the morning sky, Sing as ye sang upon the first creation, When all the Sons of God Shouted for joy abroad, And earth was laid upon a sure foundation. Glory to God again! Peace and goodwill to men, And kindly feeling all the wide world over, Where friends with joy and mirth Meet round the Christmas hearth, Or dreams of home the solitary rover. Glory to God! True hearts, Lo, now the dark departs, And morning on the snow-clad hills grows grey. Oh, may love's dawning light Kindled from loveless night, Shine more and more unto the perfect day! by Robert Fuller Murray
The Red Dragon « Result #10 on Mar 9, 2009, 10:27pm »
A long long time ago most of the animals on earth looked very different from how they look now.
Some were thinner, some were taller and some had more legs than they have today.
The Rhinoceros and the Hippopotamus were very vain and always boring the other animals, asking them to admire their good looks.
"Haven't I got the most handsome face you've ever seen?" the Rhinoceros would ask, as he turned his head from side to side. "Don't you think my left side is as handsome as my right?".
"Look at my slim body" the Hippopotamus would answer. "Isn't this the most beautiful body you've ever seen?"
"Huuh!" the Elephant would trumpet. "Look at my beautiful ivory teeth. They're the most perfect teeth in the world". And he would smile, showing two rows of gleaming ivory teeth.
Every thing was peaceful and boring until one day a red dragon flew down from the sky shouting "The world is going to end! The world is going to end!"
"We've heard that one before" said the lion, with a bored sigh. "The chicken said the sky was falling, but nothing happened".
"It's for real this time. The world is coming to an end!" yelled the red dragon.
"How do you know" the others asked.
"A wizard told me" he replied.
"Then it must be true" they all said. "What shall we do?"
"You can all climb onto my back and I'll fly you to another world" said the red dragon.
They all rushed to get on the dragon's back except the lion.
"I'm king around here and I'm not frightened of anything" he roared. "I'm going to stay here on earth".
"I'm going to stay too" said the tiger, getting down.
"Tigers are just as brave as lions".
When the other animals were ready, the dragon flapped his wings, jumped into the air and came down again.
With such a heavy load on his back he had to try it several times before he took off.
As the red dragon flew higher it was uncomfortable for the animals squeezed onto his back and some of them became scared. They began to fight and push each other.
"Get your tail out of my eye" yelled one.
"Watch where you're putting that paw" yelled another.
"Oh, we're going very high" squeaked a mouse.
"Give me a break and sit still" cried the red dragon. "All you're fighting and shoving is making it very hard for me to fly".
The animals ignored him and finally the red dragon became so tired he couldn't flap his wings any more
and started to fall out of the sky.
The animals slid off his back and fell towards the ground screaming in panic. No one was killed but they all landed with a mighty thud.
The snakes legs fell off and he slithered away in the grass.
The Rhinoceros landed on his face, making a large bump on his nose that turned into a horn.
The Hippopotamus kept rolling and bumping over the hillside, getting bigger and fatter until he finally splashed into a waterhole. He was so embarrassed at how round and fat he was, he wouldn't come out.
The elephant broke all his teeth except for two that stuck into the ground. When he tried to pull them out of the ground they stretched into the two long tusks he has today.
The giraffe caught his head in a high tree and his neck stretched and stretched until his body reached the ground.
In fact all the animals changed into how they look today.
The lion and tiger roared with laughter at how funny the other animals looked now.
"I don't see what's so funny" snapped the crocodile, whose face had been flattened by a gorilla landing on it.
The Rhinoceros was very angry about losing his good looks. That's why you have to be very careful near them, even today.
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